Tragedy (Jocks)

1)
Tension: when wife is pregnant Terror: When girl friend is preggnant
Horror: When both are preggnant
Tragedy: When you are not responsible for both

2)
During a software company interview HR: Suppose i select you, where do you see urself 5 yrs from now? 
Student: At home waiting for d joining date

3)
Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke. 
Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..! 
Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.